Marriage

So something happened. The Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, and sent Proposition 8 back to the lower courts to be struck down. Many people look at these as amazingly good things.

I'm generally inclined to agree but honestly I have a bit of mixed feelings about all of this. They're mixed not because I'm opposed because there is not a single argument I've heard against it that holds much water. Though at the same time, from the other side aside from the "fairness under the law" line of reasoning there's nothing much on that side either.

Now before you start burning me alive in rainbow fire allow me to explain. Your feelings don't dictate the logic of an argument. You're in the right. It's a simple matter of equality under the law. There's no compelling reasons to prevent it. But the amount of "victory for love" that's being claimed is not quite what has been actually achieved. But it's not my place to dictate to you your feelings.

When I started writing this I was potentially going to go through the reasons why marriage is an outdated institution, why I don't see the point, and so on and so forth. In fact just a few years ago I would have opened up a can of highly processed arguments about the lack of purpose it serves in the modern world. That was the plan. But as I started writing and thinking about marriage... well there's something there. Some thing in the midst of all the emotional leftovers from a hundred years and the promises made by cartoon princesses.

It's a powerful thing. This idea. Two people mystically and legally bound together. I can understand the appeal. For a very long time it was something that I desperately wanted. Still do if I'm entirely honest. I mean I'm not holding out much hope for it because of my habit of infuriating horror movie style gypsy women, but there's a part of me that still wants it. A part of me that buys into the illusion.

And it is. An illusion. There's a lot of folk here in Utah, particularly the younger set, who believe that getting married will magically fix the relationship. And they think that because they've been told in so many different ways. In the movies, from their friends, from their churches. They believe in the illusion so much that when it doesn't live up to it, they feel betrayed. And they get divorced. Because the illusion is so much better than the reality.

But there are some, some noble few who look at it not as the goal or the reward, but as the beginning of the game itself. The Golden Standard of our true love idealic marriage is not the way it is, it's the way it can be. Two souls working towards building a life together. That's something that I can support. Now with more that that I could see some complications but more power to them for trying.

I'm not as opposed to the concept I was even a few years ago.

And that sort of surprised me. Because in some ways I feel much farther from it.