Totem

Everyone has a totem. They have at least one animal spirit that they identify with. I generally try and avoid these kinds of generalities but this one... this one has some weight to it. 

Each totemic relationship is different. For some it will never be anything more then "hey that animal is pretty cool". For others, myself included, they are a way of understand our deeper selves. The savage parts of us, the animal parts of us. Due to that deeper more primal connection that they represent they can act as guides to a greater understanding of our place in the world. 

This is something that transcends religion. That transcends philosophy and guides us to greater understanding. Because your Totem (and you may have many) doesn't care what you believe. They aren't from the realm of Gods, but of spirits. Which are echoes of the waking world. You don't worship a totem, though there are some that do. You don't pray to them, though I just did. You don't say what your totem is.

They find you. They come to you because of who you are. Because of the vibrations they sense in you. If you have ever looked into the eyes of a beast and saw yourself look back, you have had a taste of your totemic connection.

For some they feel this connection and it changes there lives. Some cannot bear the thought of harming a beast once they have seen themselves within it. They turn from flesh, they can't stand the weight of the lives that have touched them.

For others, like me, it changes you completely and makes you reverent of the flesh you devour. But doesn't stop you from doing it. My five more prevalent totems, are Bear, Shark, Crab, Raven, and Buffalo. For some people who know me those five will make perfect sense. But they're there. I can feel them, I can imagine how it would feel to live in their skin with the ease of putting on a different pair of clothes. These are a part of me.

And despite whatever you man believe or not. I can see them as a part of you. And if I'm honest, they're part of why I love you.

I've been in a dark place in the last few weeks. I've felt lost, hopeless, and completely unwanted. I've not been able to find any reason to keep going. Not anything bad enough to do anything stupid, but enough to not see the point of moving forward.

And so I looked to my totems. Those spirit guides to the deeper parts of my hypothetical soul. And swimming out of the depths came Shark. He showed me the path. Through him I found the point when there is no point.

Brother shark

I pray to you

Bless me with 

Your Strength

Your Focus

Your Surety 

Help me to swim on

When I know not why

Help me to know the right moment

By the blood in the water

Help me to embrace my nature

And strive for your perfection

Teach me once again

That there is no shame

In just swimming

In just killing

In just eating

In just surviving

That sometimes there is nothing worth more

Then moving forward

Because stopping means death